she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
