You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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