Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
