You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I still have a little drunk in my system
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
