So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
