my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
