I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
