Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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