Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.

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(248): View more from Michigan

They have a pepper shaker for pot.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.

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(516): View more from New York

we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

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(786): View more from Florida

She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

(305): View more from Florida

I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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(631): View more from New York

beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27

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