I could make wine with my vomit
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
