we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
