That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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