A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I want her autograph on my taint
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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