i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
