Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You need a sexual gate keeper
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
