I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
