Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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