Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
