you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
