I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
