its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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