he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
