aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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