that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
