Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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