I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
