i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i think my cat just said my name.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
