I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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