on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
