she was so not down for the gang bang
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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