Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
