We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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