You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
