You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
