My nipple is on Facebook.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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