i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
