i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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