Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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