there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
