dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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