he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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