I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
