I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
