Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
