She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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