That's when you crack a 10am beer
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
