do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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