let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
