i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize