I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
