i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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