SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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