the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
