you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
