A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
