i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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