why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
