I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize