...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My balls are so social today.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You can't just leave with hair like that
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
