so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
