You're so nebulous sometimes
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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